Written by Andrew, syndicated Nerds With Beer Writer

As happens in everyone’s life, a party invite showed up in my inbox a few days before the party. Normally, such things are no great concern. This invitation, however, was for a friend’s house warming party. Considering the group that would be there, alcohol selection had to be constrained. It was a house warming, not a moving out party. I stopped on my way home to grab a Strongbow Cider, considering most of the people that would be there rather enjoy it. (At least the ones that would drink, and hence, the only ones that really counted for my purposes)
I should have realized the vortices of time and space were conspiring against me from the late arrival of the invitation. They also transported me into a bizarre world of retail grocery where no one realized that Apple Cider could ferment and a time where “Strongbow” was some sort of archery reference. After many recommendations to sports authority and “Aisle one, with the rest of the fruit juice” I gave up.

As I looked upon the shelves, I prayed to Bacchus to deliver me. His response was rather quiet and solemn; I found only one six-pack of Cider on the massive shelf. It bore a simple red “K” on a black bottle, with the words “The Ultimate in Quality” in gold script below it. Desperate for a solution, I chose this here-to-fore never seen brand.
It was a wonderful surprise. The bottle is a mere 9.3 ounces (275ml) in size. I assume that this is due to the British heritage of the brew, although it could be a marketing gimmick. Either way, it is 6.9% alcohol. Quite potent, considering how fast one metabolizes apple enzymes. I am not sure if Bacchus blessed this package or not, but I noticed a warm feeling during the first bottle, something that normally takes one or two Guinness in my case.

The flavor is slightly tart with a whisper of sweetness, much like a fresh picked green apple that has ripened just before the point of turning. It is the pale color of any processed apple juice, and the bottles I have had recently have very little carbonation. I am not sure if this is due to the bottles sitting on the shelf too long. I remember the first bottle to be a bit sweeter, but not drastically. This is not a drink to have warm, unless you have already had two while it got warm. However, by that time you may want to change to a Woodchuck or Miller.
I would highly recommend this brand to anyone. The mixture of the tart and the sweet flavors will satisfy most every palate, with the possible exception of those that prefer a 1978 Lambrusco. The smaller bottles allow for the addition of ice (or a Piet Hein Drink Cooler) to a 12-ounce glass to keep the drink cold. It is priced the same as most other imports, and the high content allows everyone to get to the “Happy Place” at their own pace. I give this brew 18 out of 20 Granny Smiths.

Kat had been informed that the Nerds with Beer articles had magically dropped off the face of the planet, coincidentally coinciding with the terrible tradgedy of all the Nerds that like beer being quite significantly less than affluent. Kat herself had not had a decent encounter with beer since her Oktoberfest extravaganza.

Well, things needed to change.

She went to the fridge and pulled out the first glass bottle she could find: “Black Wattle Superior Barons Wattle Seed Ale” (which was apparently left behind during the rapture…I MEAN, left behind by Andrew the Great and Magical Sage). Kat marched the intense dark brown bottle over to Zanny and informed him of the tragic catatonia that had befallen the articles.

“Drink! Write!”, she exclaimed. “I stopped playing WoW to help salvage Nerds with Beer and now we must consume this tasty looking wattle seed ale. Let us be swift for I have many peaceblossoms to pick later!”
Zanny promptly forbad Kat to ever play WoW again (yearightlikethatsgonnahappenmeh).

Zanny went and grabbed two glasses and poured the brew into them. Like vultures hovering over the decomposing body of a murloc, they sniffed the golden tinged mahogany ale. They both decided it smelled rather sweet, very unlike the decomposing body of a murloc. Kinda like molasses. Hmmm, actually, it sort of had molasses coloring…interesting… anywaaayyyyyy, on to the tasting!

Initial taste:
Zanny- surprisingly bitter, interesting almost wheat sort of flavor, definitely grain-like flavoric something or other (insert fancy word here), with a bittersweet afterthought in the back of your throat (hehehe “No homo”, Ryan Dairy, eat your heart out).
Kat- “who’s Ryan Dairy?”
Zanny- “The curly-haired freak, if you will”.
Kat- “oh yeeeaaaaah, that kid. I’m going to taste this beer now” Oh god, the lasting creamy head is the best. Very tasty beer, definitely lives up to the black beer distinction. Still not really sure what a wattle seed is but it is damn tasty. A nice combination of sweet and bitter and creamy. Must find more of this!

Black Wattle Superior earns the Nerds with Beer stamp of approval.

Epilogue:
In the end Nerds with Beer joined forces with the Black Wattle Baron and flew off into the sunset to go battle the Horde…er… I mean… to go fight the good fight against all those crappy beers out there.
Zanny wanted to save Kat’s soul and disconnect her from the internet forever.

Fin

Either way, I decided that watching Rock of Love (just plain dorky) and doing my calculus homework (geeky?) was enough to equal a nerdy evening deserving of a beer.

I pulled a Blue Moon Belgian White out of the fridge that I had bought while getting back up for the Nerds with Cider event (unfortunately too much drinking that night to remember exactly what the cider tasted like). Kat recommended this to me as a) Blue Moon has a seasonal pumpkin ale, and a search has begun for all “fall” flavored beers, particularly the pumpkin ones, b) I really love Sam Adams Summer Ale so wheat beer is normally a very good Liz sign and c) I was in Publix, so you take what you can get! I do know that I like this beer (hence breaking the party rule of ‘leave the alcohol you brought’) but let us look deeper (see, that sounded official).

The official description says it is “a refreshing, unfiltered wheat ale brewed and spiced in the Belgian tradition for a uniquely complex taste & uncommon finish.” Furthermore, it’s “brewed with white wheat and oats” and “features a crisp wheat finish and the perfect combination of orange peel and coriander.” It even encourages you to serve it with an orange slice in your Pilsner glass. Unfortunately, because my grandmother has succeeded in breaking all of our glasses (high five for seniors…), I’m drinking straight out of the bottle. Lord knows the idea of it with an orange sounds fantastic though. If the Summer Ale endorsement didn’t give it away, I really love citrus flavors in my beverage.

If you’ve listened to the interview, you heard them discourage about talking about mouthfeel… hehe mouthfeel… but I really love the creaminess of it. I’m not a big carbonation fan (but I still endeavor to drink more beer? That’s dedication) so I love that a heavier beer can even that out. That and thin beers taste like piss water. Or “American Pilsners,” as our dear Malicious would say, taste like piss water. That crispness line is true too. It gives that nice bitter beer taste without lingering and turning into rotten bread taste. It is not as citrus flavored as the Summer Ale but it plays its role in the background. I love the fruit beers and other malted beverages, but when I want a beer, it should still taste like beer. But I still swear it smells like orange peel, not orange, but orange peel.

So to summarize, the label is accurate. It’s crisp, just a little sweet, nothing life changing, but thoroughly a delicious and easy-to-drink beer.

Now to dig out that pumpkin one to find out why none of these damn beers taste like Potter’s Pumpkin Juice (now that is frickin’ nerdy.)

**Lizette

A Wholesome Journey into Oblivion (via Warsteiner)

Part I: Sober Kat

Saturday morning started off rather bleak for me as I drove over to my mother’s house, previously having committed myself to helping her clean. Along the way I received a phone call from Zanny telling me that they were at Oktoberfest and why on earth wasn’t I there?? My response went much like this: “why didn’t you remind me earlier and more importantly, why I would want to drive myself all the way down to Lantana is beyond me”. Always the one to find a counter point, Zanny informed me that Randy was going to be attending and that I should go catch a ride with him.

At approximately 2:30pm I show up on Randy’s doorstep to a very bewildered Randy and I inform him that I will be keeping him company on the 30 minute drive up to Oktoberfest. I also inform him that I will split the cost of parking (yes, folks, parking fees, at a lovely ass-raping cost of ten-freaking-dollars that could be put towards an ass raping pitcher of beer fee of sixteen-freaking-dollars but hey, whatever, it’s Oktoberfest, it happens once a year, may as well indulge). Meh, whatever. Randy and I show up and are immediately concerned by the vast amounts of children’s fair rides that are littering the parking lot. I’m concerned because the only beer signs I see are for Warsteiner. We pay our entry fee of $7 and proceed onward. After securing the parameter and not really finding beer (I subconsciously passed over the big tent that said Warsteiner), we called Zanny and attempted to locate our other beer nerds (well, three out of four of us were there. Clay was unavailable and would have been severely disappointed at the lack of anything remotely cider-related anyway).

Rounding up the crew I was delighted to see that not only Zanny had come but Allie, James, Lindsey, and Andrew had also decided to join on this merry day of German beer and foodstuffs. Immediately there was talk of pitchers and I voted for the Warsteiner Dunkel (the dark) having previously tried the regular Warsteiner and finding it not-so-terrible but not-so-great either (hence my earlier disappointment at seeing only Warsteiner signs). A pitcher arrived full of delicious looking dark beer, in its official Oktoberfest plastic pitcher. Beer promptly got poured into official Oktoberfest plastic cups and I took my first sniff (yes, sniff. By now everyone should realize I sniff before I sip). The aroma was quite tempting. It smelled dense and creamy with just a bit of spice to tickle the nose. I braved a sip. The flavor was a bit heavy but lived up to the creamy slightly spicy aroma. Like most dark beers, it is one to sip, not chug. And thus began Kat’s official Oktoberfest drinking binge!

Part II: Not-so-sober Kat

At this point the details are rather shady. I tried the Warsteiner Oktoberfest. I remember it being passable but cannot recount the actual taste. I tried some sort of delicious liquor that started with a “k”, was imported, and had a berry flavor followed by black licorice. More beer followed. Always either the Dunkel or the Oktoberfest. Food happened at some point and I recall eating some form of pork (complete with gravy and applesauce) with mashed potatoes and red sauerkraut. It was a delicious mesh of German-ness with a Warsteiner Dunkel to wash it down (I’d like to point out that I was trying to eat food to sober up a little. James going and getting me more beer sort of negated that whole theory).

After food there was more drinking. And funnel cake. Most importantly funnel cake. Throughout the day/evening we had all taken turns going on the playground where I accidentally flashed James my underwear while attempting to ride on the seesaw (note to self: seesaws + short skirts= disaster). The swings were exhilarating and we all determined that we need to drink beer and go on playgrounds more often. Somehow the group made it to the Tilt-a-Whirl. Thank goodness I never puke when drunk. It was amazing! I highly recommend drunken fair rides, more so than Warsteiner. Though, it was due to the Warsteiner that the drunken fair rides were made possible. Quite obviously the Warsteiner was better than the Miller Lite which they were also selling (shudder). Overall it was a win-win situation for me, who was quite happily shit-faced most of the night.

I ended up hitching a ride back to my car from Andrew because Randy had left early. Somehow I managed to drive my car from Randy’s to Zanny’s that night (oh hush; it was a two minute drive). Then I very successfully showered drunk, shaved my legs drunk, then passed out, well, drunk. At some point I mumbled a bit of god-knows-what but reports from the others indicate I was not too much of a burden. Incidentally, the next morning I woke up very hung over yet glad for the experience.

At this point I’d like to thank Randy for driving my ass down there and Andrew for driving my ass back. Oh, and Allie for being sober and putting up with us drunkards. I’d further like to thank everyone there for a fantastic first Oktoberfest experience and I hope many more follow. Most of the fun one has in life is directly related to the company they keep and I was in very good company that night.

<3,

Kat

PS- Try the Warsteiner. It’s not bad. I’m just pretentious and against most things that I can go to the local grocery store and purchase. That taken into consideration, Warsteiner is fairly awesome for it being so convenient.

Disclaimer – Kat the Malicious is not very happy that Clay the Corrupter and I happen to like cider a little more so then beer.

So some of us here at Nerds With Beer decided to experiment making beer and cider. We got a “Beer Kit” from a website called mrbeer.com.

The traditional brewer’s kit consists of:

(1) Brew Keg, Lid & Tap (8.5quarts)

(1) Standard Brew Pack (Beer Mixers, Booster, Sanitizer, Yeast, Instructions)

(12) Reusable Plastic Caps (For bottles I don’t have)

(1) Brewing with Mr.Beer® – Book

(1) Easy to Follow Instructions

We also purchased Glass 16oz swing top bottles, and “Archer’s Orchard Hard Cider” (condensed apple juice, yeast, and sanitizer)

We decided to make the cider the first time around. Now this isn’t a particularly hard process, just long. You take this can of, what looked to me to be light colored molasses, “Concentrated Apple Juice” and boil it with some water and some sugar (we added grenadine for good measure), then add a gallon of water to this nifty plastic barrel they provide, pour the hot stuff in, add more water, add some yeast and let it sit for about 5 minutes to get the yeast awake and alive. Then “Stir Vigorously” (shake da shit outa it), and let it ferment in a cool dark place for 5 days (68-78 degrees F). Then you bottle the stuff!!! You have 2 options: still cider, or carbonated cider. Well some people have places they can go to get carbonated or sometimes even own the right equipment. For other this requires more sugar. You add about a half a teaspoon of sugar to each (16oz) bottle, and let it sit in the same temperature for about 5 weeks. This new batch of sugar reacts rather slowly with particles of yeast still living in your brew and ferments a little more, producing gasses that, when sealed, can’t go anywhere, CARBONATION!! This past Saturday we had our first of (hopefully) many cider/bear tasting parties.

So here’s what I thought…..

Due to the non swing top, not so nicely sealed first 2 bottles we opened, (tasted like shit) I was a little worried about the flavor at first. I took the first sip very slowly, (hoping to not have that tonic flavor again) and I was very pleasantly surprised. It actually tasted ok. Upon the look on my face several people grabbed for my glass and tasted it, all with the same surprised look of pleasure on their faces. After a few more sips I began to realize…This stuff actually tastes like cider…Yay Us!!

So we broke out more bottles and passed them around to our friends. This was a success!!

It has a nice sparkling golden color, some of the bottles are a little cloudy and some are pretty nice and clear. I believe, in the future, we will bring it to an almost freezing temperature before serving. I believe this to have been part of the problem. (6 were in the freezer for a bit, the rest just the fridge)

It has a strange, light, smell. It smells like watered down beer, in that, it doesn’t have a whole lot of aroma. When poured into a glass you can catch a faint smell of apple, that’s kinda nice.

It has a rather light, but distinguishable apple flavor, a little too carbonated for me, some not so much, but that’s not a big deal really. It tastes like cider! Mellow, alcoholic, apply goodness. Its better then some ciders I have tasted but not the best.

Our goal now is to experiment making new flavors of beers and ciders. On top of drinking other peoples creations, obviously.

As long as we keep with it we will have a new home brew most likely every 3 months. (Time may vary a little)

So, about a year ago I saw this beer and looking at the box it mentioned saffron, which is an amazingly expensive spice, that I just so happen to love. So I became intrigued, beer with saffron, huh, could be interesting, could be tasty, and it could be the most amazing thrill ride for my taste buds since red meat! Fast forward to a few months ago: Zanny told me this story about a beer that was found in some ancient king’s tomb, and they analyzed it and found out how to make it and someone made it, and it was called Midas Touch (after King Midas, not the brake shop).

So a few nights ago I decided that NWB (Nerds with Beer) needed to try this Saffron infused beer. So I went to get it at the only place I know that has it, and guess what, it’s Midas Touch! So I’m all excited now, not only does it have saffron, but it’s a 3,000 year old recipe! This is going to be amazing.

For those you that don’t know, or remember, King Midas was the king that had the golden touch. Everything that he came into contact with turned to solid gold, including food. He was rich, but skinny as hell.

Anyway, I arrive at NWB HQ with a 4 pack of Midas Touch and $15 less in my wallet (yes it was $15 for 4 bottles, saffron is expensive) The bottles are left to chill for a bit and since there was one for each of us I handed them out. Opened the bottle and took a sniff, it smelled like 3,000 year old beer, but smell is never enough to make a judgement so I tasted it.

Now this elixir is made from Barley, Honey, Moscat Grapes, and Saffron, sounds appealing, no? After I thought about it I realized what this really was: it basically combines Beer (Barley), Wine (Moscat Grapes), Mead (Honey), and Spiced Rum (Saffron). Going on that logic I learned one very important fact, King Midas did not use his golden touch on this brew. It tasted as if someone has soaked month-old gym socks in boiling water, added some wheat germ for color, then honey so it would carbonate and spice it up a bit, then added wine to up the proof to mask the flavor. This was some nasty mixture, then it started to grow on me, and then it got worse. Kat thought that it may need to be warm, seeing as how they did not have anything to cool it 3,000 years ago. So I warmed it, and I could taste toe fungus. So $15, literally, went down the damn drain.

On an interesting side note, they believe that this brew was actually imbibed during funerals. So it really shouldn’t be consumed except at funerals, because it does make you want to die.

All in all I still believe that beer sucks for the most part and that cider is the way to go.

Midas Touch gets a 2 out of 5 bottle cap rating. Partly for the taste, partly for the ridiculous price, and partly because Dog Fishhead has single handedly killed an amazing legend in my eyes. It was going receive a 1 out of 5, but they did do some cool molecular analytical stuff to get the recipe, which earns them bonus points.

So I recently took a trip up to PA to meet some long lost family. The Plan was to fly in, hang out in the airport and grab a bite to eat with my aunt and cousin, while waiting for my dad’s flight to arrive…

So I got off the plane, met my family, and we went to a bar and grill in the airport. We promptly started drinking. Oh, Family. My dad and his girlfriend get off their flight about an hour later and we form a plan. Part ways, do a few things with my cousin and meet the rest of the family back at my aunt’s house in a few hours. To the bar! More drinks. We met up with my dad and aunt and a few of their friends at my aunt’s house for some food and, of course, more drinks.

A few hours later I’m on my way to my hotel. As I’m walking to my room I pass the hotel bar. More drinks!

The next day had a little less drinking but there was still some later that night.

So you can see the theme of this trip. Anyway, let’s talk about this bar that my cousin works at.

“McGrogans”

Spacious, karaoke on Tuesdays, awesome bartenders, nice look and feel, 200 BEERS! Yes, I said it, 200 beers. They have four 6′ tall coolers in the back with about 200 different types of beers. I WAS IN HEAVEN! My girlfriend had given me some snacks, a notebook, and a crossword book to take on the plane with me. This came greatly in handy when I started drinking.

The following will be the beers that I tried, well, at least the ones I was sober enough to write about….

Buffalo Bills Brewery – Orange Blossom Cream Ale

It has a pale orangey color, almost flat golden and it is a pretty clear ale.

It has the aroma of a toned down life saver, with a hint of beer back ground. And some orange peel in there somewhere.

Its kind of a sweet ale, it tastes pretty nice. It has a little bit of sour in the back of the mouth but not too much. It tastes like orange peel-cream, with a sweet-bitter niceness. It doesn’t actually have the thickness of a cream at all, but has the flavor a little.

It’s like a Hop had sex with an orange, and I think we know where the cream came from. It’s a little harsh with carbonation though, which can be annoying but it’s ok for now. Overall I would say this one is pretty good.

Great Divide Brewing Company – Wild Raspberry Ale

It has a slightly Red Wine / Golden color to it. It’s a little dark, but that’s mostly because red liquids tend to be for the most part.

I can’t really smell anything from this one; I’ve been drinking a lot so my sense of smell might be a little dulled.

It has a strong hoppy flavor. A 50/50 bitter sweetness to it and a very delicious berry aftertaste. It leaves my mouth feeling quite nice and smooth. This one doesn’t have very much carbonation, which makes me quite happy.

I definitely think this is one of the better drinks of the night.

Grolsch

Let’s prefaces this with saying I only got this because I wanted the nice dark green swing-top bottle.

So Grolsch tastes like dirt water. It’s pretty bitter, I can’t taste any sweetness in this at all. Maybe if I drank like 7 I would start to like them. I think I would first have to drink a lot so I can’t taste those 7, because that would make me pretty sick to have to drink 7 Grolsch.

16oz of crap. Great Bottle!

Wood Chuck Draft Cider – Pear!!

This cider, like most, is a nice clear yellow golden color. Kind of like pee. It looks like cider to me.

It smells like a tasty fuzzy delicious pear with some apple-y goodness mixed in. A pear is somewhere in the apple family anyway so this is ok.

It has a very sweet apple-pear kind of a flavor. Very Nice. This one is tastier than the pale, the pale is a little sourer. It is smooth at first but pretty carbonated once you get down to it. You drink 5 of these and your bound to burp up a little foam. I don’t seem to taste any bitterness in this one at all. I am quite impressed.

What exactly does “Naturally Fermented In The Green Mountains” mean anyway? It means delicious Fucking Cider. YEA!!

Bass

This one is a Deep Golden/Amber in color. It looks like something I would like to drink.

Most Rennies (Renaissance Fair people) seem to like it, so I figure I probably will to.

Out of the tap Bass has produced about a 1″ head. This means nothing to me, I don’t really like head all that much (on a beer, don’t get mouthy with me).

It has a sort of metallic almost sweet kind of smell to it.

I have had Bass before but usually when I drink it, it’s because someone gave it to me after me getting drunk. And at that point I stop being able to taste things.

I’m a little surprised here, it’s not actually very good in my opinion. It’s not too terribly bad, I will drink it again, but I don’t prefer it by any means. It is a little tiny bit sweet, kind of. It is mostly rather bitter, almost sour, not too bad, I guess it grows on you as you’re drinking it.

It tastes like a not so good dark beer. Whatever, I guess I have no bad or good feelings towards this one.

Veldensteiner – WeiBber

This one has a very light golden color, rather clear. It’s nice looking.

It definitely has a strong wheat smell, with a little metallic hint to it as well.

This beer has a very hearty cabbage/cereal kind of flavor. This is the kind of flavor I might associate with a thick beer, but it isn’t thick at all. Its very carbonated and that makes it a little hard to drink, especially since I’m very thirsty so I’m drinking fast.

It has a fair amount of head, of this I’m not very fond (see previous head comment).

At first I was about to pour it out, but instead I kept on. It kinda started to grow on me. I would drink more if I had some other beers first.

Flip-Top bottle. Another keeper.

Rogue – Chocolate Stout

This one is very dark in color, a lot more so then Guinness, almost black actually. Its very interesting looking to me.

Like some others tonight, it seems to have a slightly metallic aroma to me. It might be due to my blood alcohol level, but hey, I keep on.

It’s a very strong burnt chocolate-beer flavor. Also it seams to have a slightly metallic flavor. I’m not entirely fond of this one. It is actually pretty gross, I don’t think I can finish this one.

The Bartender walks by and comments:

“Hmmm…Smells like molasses”

She sips it…

“OH…That’s Horrible, You Want Something Else?”

Yes. Yes I Do!

Flying Dog – Snake Dog IPA

(India Pale Ale)

It has a nice dark golden color to it. It looks like it might be a tasty beverage.

I can’t really smell anything at this point so, ya know, bear with me.

This is a very bitter ale. (VERY)

It actually tastes pretty damn bad. Kind of like a bad boiled vegetable. It seems to leave a bit of a vomit flavor in the back of my throat.

This one is really bad. Garbage, it’s just garbage to me.

I’m told IPA’s are terrible. (Why wasnt I informed of this before I drank it?)

Magic Hat – Circus Boy

This Beer has a rather cloudy golden color.

In a strange, but not necessarily a bad way, this kind of smells like hand soap.

This beer has a slightly fruity, yet more flavorful, Budweiser kind of flavor to it. It’s less watery then Budweiser though. Not bad at all.

Very tasty indeed. Let’s try another Magic Hat…

Magic Hat – #9

This one has a moderately clear golden-brown, almost orangish color. Looks pretty nice.

It has a very sweet to the point beer smell. I like the aroma of this one.

It has an interesting mix of flavors. It’s a sort of ginger-wheat flavor, with strong hop undertones.

It’s very smooth and interesting. It goes down nicely. (Side note: while editing this entry, Kat resisted VERY HARD against adding something lewd after this last line. Zanny, you totally owe her one.)

On occasion I have been known to act much like a hermit crab and hide inside my little apartment all by myself, with the lights out, perfectly content with doing nothing. Every now and then a little glimmer of happiness will appear via the mailbox and to my surprise the Netflix DVD I ordered will arrive. The addition of a movie or television series I have been anticipating greatly enhances my likelihood to be a hermit crab and enhances the quality of my hermit-like behavior. At that point I am able to live as a hermit but experience life vicariously through the PS2 and television which enables me to view the DVDs. Ah yes, at that point, life is grand.

One such night occurred recently and I found myself cuddled under a blanket watching “The Satanic Rites of Dracula” starring Christopher Lee and Peter Cushing circa 1974. There is nothing better than really cheesy 1970’s vampire movies with really amazing actors in them. At some point during the movie I determined I was thirsty. I paused the movie and meandered over to the refrigerator. I rummaged a bit. One can of Wild Cherry Pepsi left, a half gallon of rather questionable chocolate soy milk, a few bottles of water, and, to my delight, the bottle of mango flavored lambic David had left in my apartment from his most recent trip to Florida. Obviously, I went for the lambic.

I studied the bottle a bit. It was green (for some reason most bottles lambic comes in are green) with a pull out cork and a wire thingy holding the cork in. The label read: “de BoomGaard Tropicale” and apparently came from Liefman’s Breweries Dentergem, Belgium “Belgian beer with spices and mango juice”. Oh yes, I was excited. I untwisted the wire contraption covering the cork and then spent the next 3 minutes trying to pull the cork out. After three minutes passed I realized I would have to actually use a corkscrew, pondered as to if I owned a corkscrew, then decided if I did it must be in one of my cabinets. As it turns out my $3.97 Hobo Tool from Walmart happened to have a corkscrew on it and I was able to open my wonderful beverage of mystery.

Unable to find a glass to pour the beer into, I drank straight from the bottle. First I let the powerful aroma of mango evade my nostrils as it escaped out of the bottle. Then I took the most anticipated first sip. Oh sheer delight! The taste was a very warming mango flavor and pleasantly bubbly. It danced on my tongue more so than squid ice cream dances on the tongues of the judges on Iron Chef. So yes, the flavor was very true to the description on the bottle. Mangos at Christmas time would have been a bit catchier than “spices and mango juice” though. It would have paired well with peach cobbler.

Content with my beverage choice I went back to my bed to continue watching my cheesy movie (I feel compelled to note that Christopher Lee makes one hell of a Dracula). I was studying the bottle some more when I noticed little bits of something floating around towards the bottom. Now, I’m not a stranger to things floating around in my alcohol. I am very familiar with unfiltered beers and sake. These things were much larger than what I normally see. Curious, I went and grabbed a clear bowl to dump the rest of the beer into so that I could study the pieces.

The pieces I found were a half inch to an inch long and very slimy. Every time I went to grab one it would slide around my fingers. I was about to grab forceps and a Petri dish but had to come out of my scientific bubble when I realized I was not in a lab. I grabbed a straw instead and continued drinking the very intriguing liquid.

Overall I was very happy with deBoomGaard Tropicale but would only recommend it if you are not scared of random slimy bits floating around which, upon research, are apparently just bits of real mango. It gets the Kat Stamp of Deliciousness. Even Count Dracula might give up blood for a day and drink it instead (hehehe, I’m so cheesy).

The Beers:
Leinenkugel Honey Weiss
Leinenkugel Red Lager
Leinenkugel Berry Weiss

Review Team:
Clay the Corruptor
Zanny the Enabler
Kat the Malicious

The night of August 1st marked the first ever official Nerds With Beer (NWB) meeting. In order to celebrate the occasion we decided to do, well, what we do! Drink beer! Unfortunately, out of the four of us, Randy the Magnificent had to leave early and did not get to participate in the festivities. He was lured away to a quiet evening with the Evil Keystone Wench, one of our greatest adversaries. But he did partake in the important things like actual meeting stuff. Anyway…that being said, our review team consisted of Clay the Corruptor, Zanny the Enabler and Kat the Malicious.

While in Tampa, Kat had visited the Kingdom of Heaven a.k.a. Total Wine in order to stock up on her favorite wheat beer, Hoegaarden, which is supposedly unavailable in the South Florida branches of Total Wine.

Reasons Total Wine is amazing:
They sell single bottle import and craft brews so that you can piece together your own miscellaneous six-pack. (They also sell the Feigling Vodka which is fig flavored and, incidentally, delicious.)

Kat created a six-pack and three of the six were different styles from the Leinenkugel brewery. Previously, Nerds With Beer had reviewed the Leinenkugel Sunset Wheat, so Kat was very excited when she found out they made a Honey Weiss and Berry Weiss. She also picked out the Red Lager on an employee’s recommendation.

At any rate it seemed like an appropriate night to taste the Leinenkugel collection. We began with the Honey Weiss.

Leinenkugel Honey Weiss:

Kat poured the Honey Weiss into three small glasses. Here is what in sued…

Appearance:
Clay- “It looks like urine.”
Zanny- “It has a golden, clear filtered cider look, sort of like an American Pilsner. Very little head. I don’t like head. Please note that I do not mean sexually speaking. ”
Kat- “Oooh, it has bubbles!”

Aroma:
Clay- “It smells burnt and bitter”
Zanny- “Slightly citrus. Citrus variation of Miller maybe.”
Kat- “Yum, sweet and hoppy smelling.”

Viscosity:
Clay- “It caresses my mouth like a velvet glove.”
Zanny- “Yes, a bit velvety, rather smooth.”
Kat- “Smooth like Morgan Freeman’s voice. Very light.”
Clay- “Zanny made head in a beer with no head.”

Taste:
Zanny- “Too much like an American Pilsner. Slightly less watery.”
Clay- “Tastes like killer bees just destroyed a small village in Zimbabwe.”
Kat- “An almost even balance of sweet and bitter. Too watery. I’d expect something that’s supposed to taste like honey to be a bit thick.”

Leinenkugel Red Lager

Appearance:
All- “Iced tea”

Aroma:
Clay- “Smells like red meat”.
Zanny- “Yeah, it does have a blood/iron smell to it.”
Kat- “Sort of. I think there is a slight molasses smell also.”

Viscosity:
All- “Very crisp.”

Taste:
Zanny- “Hmm… more bitter cousin of Yuengling.”
Clay- “It’s like sucking on a penny.”
Kat- “Bitter… malty. The aftertaste is gross and yeasty, like eating rotten bread.”

Leinenkugel Berry Weiss

Appearance:
Clay- “Like the color of a lassie’s cheeks when we’ve seen each other naked for the first time.”
Zanny- Temporarily unavailable for comment.
Kat- “Pretty!”

Aroma:
Clay- (with his nose wet) “It smells so good I just accidentally dipped my nose in it, trying to smell it more.”
Kat- “I think I just creamed my pants.”
Clay- “Almost makes me want to do the Berries and Cream dance.”
Zanny- Still unavailable for comment.

Viscosity:
All- “Light and crisp. Slightly heavier than the Honey Weiss.”

Taste:
Clay- “Zanny get out here now!”
Kat- “Stop shitting, I want to taste the beer! This looks amazing!”
Zanny- (finally emerging) “Ooh, this does look fantastic.”
Clay- “It tastes like an alcoholic sorbet. This is amazing.”
Zanny- “This is fucking good shit man.”
Kat- “I actually did cream my pants this time.”
Zanny- “It’s like a cider but with a beer undertone. Or a wine cooler without the overpowering sweetness and headache.”
Clay- “I really do want to do the Berries and Cream dance now.”
Kat- “I think I will go to Total Wine tomorrow and try to find more of this.”

Epilogue

Showcase Winner: Berry Weiss
The Leinenkugel Showcase ended on a good note with the Berry Weiss. The other two were in the realm of “not-so-tasty” and will probably not be purchased again. But yes, Nerds With Beer has finally found a winner in the Berry Weiss. It is highly recommended and has officially received the NWB stamp of approval (or would receive it if such a stamp existed).

It has come to pass, (much to my surprise for it’s not like I haven’t been trying new beers or anything) that two months have gone by without a new review. Oh for shame! I shall attempt not to let such a travesty occur again.
At any rate, last night I found myself in the presence of greatness… and not such greatness. I had decided to make a trip over to Tampa because for some crraazzzyyy reason I wanted to drive for 4 hours. Call it the urge to contemplate perhaps. Call it the urge to visit a relatively new-to-me city and taste some beers from their bars. Call it boredom. Call it what you will. Call me call me when you need a frie-… ok I will stop.

First we shall start with the not-so-greatness which, incidentally, was the beer. I started and ended the night at a place called Crowbar (funny fact, one of the band flyers on the window has misspelled it “Cowbar”…heh). They have about 5 different beers on tap: an oatmeal stout, a tasty looking wheat beer that was empty, a pale ale, some sort of creepy looking lager, and the one I ended up choosing, Abita’s Purple Haze. Now I had previously had Purple Haze, or at least a taste of it, 6 or 7 years ago in Ohio before I even knew what beer was. I remembered it being not very offensive and, given the selection I was presented with at the bar (damn them for being out of the wheat beer!), I figured it was my best bet.

Alas!, Monsieur Bartenderre handed me my pint with it’s 1/2 inch of head still settling and I did what any good beer taster would do- I sniffed it. The aroma was much like a fermented apple juice and I thought to myself, “hmm, promising!”. I sniffed it a couple more times to allow the scent to fully evade my senses and then at last, a sip. I rolled it around on my tongue a bit, trying to catch all the subtle flavors that were promised in the aroma. I managed to grasp a bit of orange and a bit of the apple but they were overpowered by the hops taste. Suddenly an idea struck me! An orange. Yes, an orange wedge would compliment this perfectly. So I wandered back into the main part of the bar in search of fruity goodness. And… I was disappointed. They had the standard lemon and lime but were all out of the one fruit wedge I knew would compliment the beer perfectly.

I went back to my seat located near the stage and finished the rest of this so called “Purple Haze”. There was nothing quite purple about it and the only haze around was the smoke from the bar. I felt Jimmy Hendrix would have been greatly disappointed. So I continued to sip. And sip. The band was doing sound check and kept saying “fraggle”. I got confused for a brief moment before I realized that the sound guys name was Fraggle. That made me smile a bit and then I imaged all sorts of Fraggles running around the rim of my glass, singing to me a lovely Fraggle diddy and having the Dozers bring me an orange wedge. Suddenly the beer was not bad but tolerable. AND THEN…

The music started! Which is where the nerdy greatness comes in. The band playing at Crowbar that night happened to be Kelp, an eclectic freestyle jazz band. I knew the night looked promising for music when they were sound checking a cello and a clarinet. I was by far not disappointed. The music came in waves and surprises, reminiscent of the The Bad Plus (another freestyle jazz band. Incidentally, freestyle jazz is one of my favorite musical genres). The vocals were a little off and loud but for those of us that also like really terrible-amazing music like Bright Eyes, they were perfect.

So I have concluded this: If you have a chance to see Kelp, DO IT! And let me know when and where the show is at. And if you have a chance to drink Purple Haze…er… probably don’t. Unless you like lighter beers that pretend to be fruity and all the normal standbys aren’t available… then go right ahead. Tonight I shall be catching some sort of hardcore show and then going to New World Brewery to hopefully find something tasty. At the very least I know they have Hoegaarden in bottles. If there is an orange wedge involved I will be doubly happy.

Ta-ta.

Addendum: So what I find absolutely amusing is, after doing some research post writing this article, apparently Purple Haze is a raspberry wheat beer. According to Abita’s website (http://www.abita.com) they add raspberry puree after filtration. My guess is that since the raspberries aren’t necessarily part of the brewing process, the taste doesn’t transfer well to tap, which is how I totally missed any semblance of raspberry. Thus concluding that if one is going to go out and try Purple Haze for themselves, try it out of the bottle. And if you happen to find Abita’s Rootbeer anywhere, try that because it’s delicious and send me some. I haven’t been able to find it since I was in Austin.

Written by Kat, syndicated Nerds With Beer Writer

It was Friday night, May 19th when I found myself inside a local Austin bar called Emo’s with some form of new tasty beverage in my hand, begging me to consume it. This tasty beverage was entitled “Shiner Bock”. Such a title scared me at first and three things went through my mind as I heard the name:

1) I wonder if it will give me a black eye,
2) It’s a local Texas beer, it probably will give me a black eye, and
3) If I were drunk enough it would almost sound like “Shriner Brock” which lead to me having visions of Brock Samson in a Shriner hat and I felt for sure Brock Samson in a Shriner hat would indeed give me a black eye.

At any rate, I bravely decided to sample the cold wonder in my hand. First response, “Oh wow, this sorta tastes like Yeunling but with more of an aftertaste. A non-offending aftertaste”. For those of us who have had Yeunling we know that it has a fairly mild taste for a slightly darker ale and is not very hoppy at all. It also puts a rather icky taste in your mouth after about three minutes of not drinking any.

Well, the Shriner Bro…SHINER BOCK, has more of a smooth, creamy aftertaste (oh yeah baby) that lingers only for a little while. It seemingly is a bit sweeter, perhaps with a hint of molasses. I enjoyed it but would only really order it again if my other standbys were unavailable. Granted, it would definitely replace my old standby of standbys, Yeunling, for the reasons just mentioned.

I will now briefly mention the other local Texas beer I managed to drink during my short stay in the wonderful city of Austin. That beer was Lone Star and well, by the time I got around to drinking one, I was almost entirely trashed and wouldn’t have been able to tell it’s taste from the taste of the shot of scotch I had had just prior. Thus concluding that Lone Star tastes like scotch and scotch tastes like drunk. Scotch and Lone Star taste like hang-over. Hang-over tastes like wasting way too many hours sleeping until dinner time. Ironically, sleeping too many hours till dinner time the next day tastes like delicious chimichangas. Oh Austin, how I adore you.

I find myself shopping at Wal-Mart all too often these days. Unfortunately its just convenient. One particular evening, as I was browsing their beer selection, I wanted Guinness in a can but they only had bottles on hand. The bottles usually taste sour, the cans, for some reason, always taste better to me. So I continued to browse their interesting selection, when I came across Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat. I thought, well that’s an interesting looking beer, and I tend to like wheat beers.

Lets give it try. When I arrived home with this new beer adventure, my friends had already arrived and started drinking. So I put some things away and got ready for what I was hoping was a tasty beverage. At first sip I thought “Well, its not bad.”, swished a few more sips around and realized it was actually quite tasty. So I shared them with my friends, who all seamed to love this new beer. The general consensus after a few minutes was actually that this beer tastes almost like fruity pebbles. Its a subtle mix of fruit and hop flavors that brings this beer to perfection for me. Leinenkugel’s Sunset Wheat is one of the best beers I have ever tasted. I suggest grabbing a case of your own, as for me, off to get more…

After being channeled through Long Beach’s 1932 Summer Olympics traffic circle, I must have mistakenly picked the turnoff for aquatic events, but gracelessly pulled myself out of the time warp, ending up at DiPiazza’s in Long Beach in time to check out the anticipated ‘Pensive’ CD Release Party #1 (the LA County edition).

‘Pensive’, a nationally known and quality four-piece rock band from San Diego, were releasing a new full length entitled ‘Artifacts’ on their LA CD release leg, the main purpose of my visit this evening. They happened to be one of many bands on a lineup catering to an all ages crowd. A few groups performing at DiPiazzas this evening: ‘The City Drive’, ‘Uh Oh! Explosion’, ‘Nextdoor’ and a local new wave stylized group, ‘Mighty 690′.

Apparently the DiPiazzas been doing business in the area for around twenty-something years, and have made quite a friendly and safe environment for all ages shows, which was perfect for the Friday night lineup at hand.

After a few brief yet extremely positive encounters with band members, the band & club management, I made my way to the bar for several quick rounds of the tasty Alaskan Amber, awaiting the forty minute ‘Pensive’ set to herald in the CD arrival. I did catch the tail end of ‘Uh Oh! Explosion’ who were firing up the crowd with their fan favorite ‘Balls’, which you may have heard a tease of on Los Angeles FM radio.

Pensive quickly took the stage following ‘Uh Oh’ around 9pm, with two new band members: Billy Formella the bassist, by way of Georgia, and Dave Thueson the drummer from Illinois. I must say despite the muddy washed-out tones from the venue sound system, the blistering set was greatly aided by these new players who took the focus off any sound imperfections. Dave Thueson was on cue with any major label drummer I’ve seen in the past, and was the perfect catalyst in driving the entire set, completely absorbed in the sound throughout the length of the performance. Billy Formella was also the perfect compliment to the adept playing and positive charisma radiating from Julio Godoy, playing off the crowd feedback and using it to the group’s advantage. Patrick Smith rounded out the crew on guitar, quietly concentrating on rounding out Pensive’s sound with surgical precision.

Diving into their catalog and providing a wicked batch of stellar intros, ‘Pensive’ played a few songs from their new CD, and ended with two of my favorites from ‘Artifacts’: ‘Live Fast’ and ‘Summer is Gone’, which really satiated everyone and whipped the crowd into a frenzy. A quick note regarding ‘Summer is Gone’; it will be out later on in video form according to the director who I met outside the venue following the show. I couldn’t be happier as I think it’s a great choice as their next video release after ‘Live Fast’.

All in all it was a positive trip to Long Beach, and a spirited performance worthy of a repeat, perhaps down in San Diego next time. I’d like to wish a quick happy birthday to Patrick the guitar player, as well as Sammy (a fan who was pulled up on stage). Dos kudos to the new merch girl as well!

Best Overheard Quote: “OMG, like… did you see his sparkly drumkit? The drummer was amazing”.

http://www.dipiazzas.com/
http://www.pensive.net

It was a very hot and miserable day, the day my oldest cousin, Jeff, decided to get married. What though could I expect, it being the middle of August and all? And in the middle of the afternoon. On a sunny day. In Georgia. And, oh yeah, set OUTDOORS. Despite my best efforts to stay cool (short dress, no stockings, hair up, and waving one of those little oriental fans around), I still somehow managed to get heat exhaustion in the 20 minutes the ceremony went on for (it would have only been about 5 minutes had they skipped all the praying. I spent most of the time praying for cloud coverage, not holy matrimony. Sorry guys).

Needless to say by the time the (thankfully) indoor reception rolled around I was practically dying for some sort of tasty beverage. The bar had this: Bud, Bud Light, Miller Lite, an assorted selection of white and red wines, water and soda (pop for you northerners). Now, let’s analyze the situation. I’m at a wedding. A wedding with free alcohol. Not the best selection of alcohol but free alcohol nonetheless and I’m practically on fire having sat outside for 20 minutes when there was a heat index of 120 degrees. Any guesses as to what I went for?

(Those of you who said water obviously have never been to a wedding before with free alcohol. And anyone who said wine has never had wine after baking in the sun. Yes folks, it will make you feel worse. Much worse.)

The answer: ye olde standby, Miller Lite. No, it really isn’t my old standby. Yuengling is. But if I’m in someone’s house and it’s the only thing they have and it happens to be so well refrigerated I can’t taste it, I’ll drink it.

After asking for my ID the bartender hands me a dainty glass filled with Miller Lite. One of the other wedding guests is standing near the bar ordering a Miller Lite as well. She proclaims how she feels it is the King of Beers, much superior to Budweiser who actually trademarked the title. I inquire as to why she feels this way. She continues on with how refreshing the beer is, light and crisp, and how she likes it more than Budweiser because it has less of an aftertaste. By that time I’m fully amused. I just keep agreeing with her because, well, I do. I like it much better than Budweiser. Miller Lite practically tastes like water. Budweiser tastes like rotting bread. I’d gladly choose water over rotting bread. Lack of taste isn’t a reason for drinking and “liking” a beer though. One should drink a beer because you can taste it and it’s a taste you enjoy.

At any rate, I decided to actually taste and review Miller Lite. I started out in my normal fashion: sniffing it. A person can usually tell a lot of things by smell. This happened to smell like a whole lot of nothing. Well, maybe not nothing. It had an after-smell (if such a thing exists) that reminded me of the breath of an alcoholic after they had just downed a 12-pack. One sniff and I didn’t really want to go much further but thirst won so I took my first sip. The one redeeming quality of Miller Lite is that it is heavily carbonated and that distracts from the immediate taste. If you happen to swish it around a bit in your mouth it takes a while for the filmy taste of rotting bread to surface. I’m guessing that’s why frat boys like to chug this beer so much- if you chug it, you can’t taste it and the carbonation leads to bigger, better burps. As far as coloring goes- it looks like piss. Unhealthy piss to be exact, for it’s more gold than not.

So let’s recap: it looks like unhealthy urine, smells like alcoholics (or is it alcoholics smell like Miller Lite? Hmmm), tastes like rotten bread unless you chug it right away…and the verdict is…
Gross.

Miller Lite earns the Nerds with Beer Disapproving Glance of Disgust.

After drinking about half the glass of Miller Lite (it eventually got too warm to be tolerable), I moved on to Merlot. A much better decision for my taste buds; not so good of a decision for my head. The rest of the wedding passed by uneventfully and my cousin and his bride lived happily ever after (or have been for the past two weeks since the wedding occurred).