The TLP Network

Sharing the Hate, Spreading the Pain: On the Silent Dividing Line

by on Sep.18, 2008, under Articles, Sharing the Hate

There comes a time when one needs to make a decision. Some decisions are easier to make than others, such as when to eat, and where to sleep. Other decisions are more difficult such as what to study, and where to learn. Still other decisions are extremely difficult such as what to create, and where to seek inspiration.

All throughout these decisions are choices that people made through the summation of previous experiences in their apparent perceived lives. If you call this falling domino effect fate, then free will itself does not exist, and habits are the hardest of all to break. Habits are ingrained parts of a person’s psyche and where they seek comfort. In order to break someone’s habit you have to shatter their reality, and even then, that person might still end up right back where they started. The action does no more than put a bandage on a gaping laceration.

When does one person decide to help another? To what effect do they decide to help each other out?

Is the help out of pity? Then it is sympathetic in nature.
Is the help out of compassion? Then it is empathetic in nature.
Is the help out of regret? Then it is commiserative in nature.
Is there no help? Then it is apathetic in nature.

The more emotional vesting one person has in another, the more ‘caring’ they will show towards the person in need. What is this apparent cost of caring? Emotional vesting is directly proportionate to the distance two individuals have. These are distances in space and time. As the distance becomes greater the caring becomes less until caring becomes an afterthought requiring effort, which is an inconvenience to most. If you do not care effortlessly, then others call you insincere in your caring.

There is one decision that most people tend to overlook. That decision is when to stop caring if they started at all. Akin to coming out of a hangover, there is no gradient from one extreme to the other. One instant you sit there reeling in gut wrenching guilt, and the next you want to take on the world for all it is worth for new adventures.

This dividing line itself is a silent one, since you cannot seek it out; a silent hidden dividing line between empathy and apathy. When you cross it, all that you know is that you crossed it. Usually you realize you crossed it after the fact never pinpointing when or where you transversed the line. You will not even realize you accepted passing over the line into a new apparent situation. You will just come out on the other side in a different mood or outlook.

Until that time comes when you stop caring, just continue drifting. Drift far and wide for when you completely stop caring, you can start caring yet again. Emotional vesting is not a zero balance account. There is always a balance in there as you receive and give emotional stimuli. However, people set up different accounts and decide to give of themselves to those closest to them. Sadly, there is always a desire as a pack animal, for humans to give of themselves to strengthen the herd.

Fear those who pity you, for they look down upon your weakness.
Fear those who show regret, for they project their past onto you.

Respect those who know you and will not help you, they have their own issues to deal with.

Honor those that show compassion, because they are taking time out to help when they could be anywhere else doing anything else.


“All those who will never know of my lust are all those that constantly feel my wrath.”

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