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Sharing the Hate, Spreading the Pain: On Compromises

by on Aug.07, 2008, under Articles, Sharing the Hate

“And what do you know of rejection? What do you know of loss, of death? What do you know of the absence of everything, great abstinence in the presence of the plentiful?

Has the world turned its back on you, or just this group? Has everyone you have ever known and will even know become a fragment of the mind’s eye? Did you blink on purpose to shut your eye, or did you never possess the ability to open it? Can you forget your past?”

Perhaps that was too long of a response to give when the zombie said, “Wait, where are you going?” Then it started to scamper in my general direction. I could have kept walking, but since I had already turned around to check behind me, I decided to turn around and head back towards sanctuary. The mind rationalizes a lot, and then replaces fact with a skewed fiction. I did realize at the time, I would have to walk right past it shambling towards me. That would explain why I stuck my hand out to help it up off the ground.

The mist is very thick, and the fog has a sticky hue to it. Its hand was cold, but mine was colder. Its gaze was cold, but mine was colder.

Pizza always tastes better the day after you wanted it, more so than the day you actually want it. The absence is where the desire grows. In addition, we had already had a “moment.” Who is to deny that “moment” a chance to blossom into a lily, or a chaff of wheat ripe for the scythe.

I shall have a moment with pizza in the future, when sustenance is required as opposed to when wants take the place of needs. The needs say to retreat, the wants say to hunt. Why can’t one have it all? Just change the nature of the hunt to accommodate the retreat. This sounds simple enough.

Some call it settling, and others call it cutting losses, but there comes a time when one makes not the best decision, just the best available decision. This decision in the end always leads towards an empty feeling coupled with the driving nagging twinge of “what if.” That “what if,” gets louder and louder, especially if potential gains walk into the room.

However, chasing an ideal is just as dangerous as settling. If you chase an ideal, you may never find it, and nothing may be good enough either. The one who chases ideals is never grounded, and never complete. They might excel, but that is quite the cost.

Where does one compromise and meet in the middle? Where does one not settle, but not waste time chasing ideals? The answer lies in enjoying the here and the now while keeping the future in mind. Stay grounded, but gaze 45 degrees off into the horizon as opposed to straight up, or down at the ground. The answer lies in having an open mind.

That way you can see what is directly in front of you, and at the same time see what is off in the distance. Is this a compromise?

I guess you could say my fascination with death is the experience is one thing I will eventually have in common with every living thing.

Can you forget your past? Because it will surely forget you.

Sincelery,
Leo

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