The TLP Network

No One and a Half: Good Reasons and Bad Reasons for Cancelling Shows

by on Mar.10, 2008, under Articles, No One and a Half

Scribed by Jason Firestone.

Good Reason: Wife of 20 years suddenly left after admitting to a 5-year affair
Bad Reason: Girlfriend of two and a half weeks broke up via text message

Good Reason: Recent death in the family
Bad Reason: Recent death of your World of Warcraft character

Good Reason: Singer loses their voice
Bad Reason: Singer is on her period and doesn’t “feel right”

Good Reason: Drummer broke their foot
Bad Reason: Drummer got the clap after fucking your girlfriend

Good Reason: Band break-up
Bad Reason: Band joining the Church of Scientology

Good Reason: Band finding out they won’t be getting paid because the greedy owner pulled a fast one on them… fucking dick.
Bad Reason: Band finding out they won’t be getting paid because it’s a benefit show for a little girl with leukemia…. you fucking dicks.

Good Reason: Bad tendonitis
Bad Reason: The singer didn’t have their hot tea with honey and lemon before the show

Good Reason: Band member has the flu
Bad Reason: The bar doesn’t have bottles of Evian water

Good Reason: Band member gets in a car accident and is rushed to the hospital
Bad Reason: Band member goes to “pick up” their girlfriend before the show but gets “stuck in traffic” and isn’t able to “pull out” until the show is already more than half over.

Good Reason: Band member gets clinical amnesia and forgets who they are
Bad Reason: Your drummer forgets how the song goes… again.

Good Reason: Band member overdoses
Bad Reason: Band member cokes it up before the show and can’t stand still long enough to play a fucking song.

Good Reason: You remember that you’re going to be out of town the whole week of the show
Bad Reason: Your friend gave you a gorgeous bong shaped like Buddha for your birthday and you “remember that you’re going to be out of town the whole week of the show”

Good Reason: You can’t play the show because there are less than the minimum number of people there that are needed for the show to happen.
Bad Reason: You won’t play the show because you refuse to accept the fact that the audience at many local shows is just the other bands and their girlfriends.

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