The TLP Network

No One and a Half: 24 Notes To Self

by on Jan.07, 2008, under Articles, No One and a Half

Scribed by Jason Firestone.

1. Dry humping random strangers is not a good way to meet people.
2. Dry humping musical instruments on stage is not sexy.
3. Attempting to play various musical instruments with your genitalia is fun ….but there’s that damn indecent exposure law, so no one will get to see it ….except at parties.
4. Boobs have a purpose other than just being there to play with, lick, and motorboat.
5. Find out what that purpose is.
6. Nickelback sucks.
7. Assy McGee is possibly the best show ever made.
8. Sleep is for fat people.
9. That was a line from Assy McGee.
10. If you ask “can I get more balls in the monitor?” while playing a show, chances are the sound guy will not appreciate the joke.
11. Asking the sound guy if he can “turn down the ‘suck'” stopped being funny thirty years ago.
12. Telling the audience “the more you drink, the better we sound” stopped being funny thirty years ago.
13. Yelling “Freebird!” during a show stopped being funny thirty years ago.
14. Thirty years is a long time.
15. Nickelback really fucking sucks.
16. The only Chuck Norris joke that’s still funny is “Chuck Norris lost his virginity before his father did.”
17. And now that one isn’t funny anymore.
18. Chuck Norris jokes aren’t funny anymore.
19. William Hung is a genius.
20. Change your last name to Hung.
21. Then you can be all like, “hey, I’m Hung. No seriously, I’m really Hung.”
22. That’s a great way to meet women, by the way.
23. No, seriously.
24. Okay, I’m totally kidding.

No comments for this entry yet...

Comments are closed.

Looking for something?

Use the form below to search the site:

Still not finding what you're looking for? Drop a comment on a post or contact us so we can take care of it!

Visit our friends!

A few highly recommended friends...