The TLP Network

Sharing the Hate, Spreading the Pain: On Fame

by on Jun.28, 2007, under Articles, Sharing the Hate


How to become Famous in less than 2 weeks….

I submit for your approval a signed underground band that embraced a model and became mainstream overnight. Note: I did not say famous, I said mainstream, big difference. Where are they now? They are underground again, but still famous.

Have you ever wondered why they only had one radio single? Have you ever wondered how that song did not sound like anything they have written? Simple, their label wanted them to be on the radio to promote their upcoming US tour. Their only tour people remember in an almost 15 year-long career.

The song is a perfect model for what belongs on the radio:

Three minutes thirty seconds long;
20 to 30 second hook start;
Two choruses exactly at 45 seconds apart;
2 verses with less than 6 short lines;
One thirty second bridge at 2 minutes;
Two Chorus finish.

A simple recipe for success.

How can you take advantage of that? Well, if you have a show in about a month and two weeks to prepare, here is how.

Contact your local radio station with about $20,000 in cash handy. You’ll need it.

You are about to use payola, which is what the labels do when they ‘buy’ radio time. You want to buy three minute forty-five second blocks commercial slots during peak hours that will air as close to these times listed below EVERY day for two weeks:

Day 1: 8:15, 11:15, 2:15, 5:15
Day 2: 9:00, 12:30, 3:00, 5:45
Day 3: 10:00, 1:00, 4:00, 6:30
Rinse, Lather, Repeat.

If you look closely, you will see your song about once every three hours. Don’t let them talk you into anything else even if it is cheaper.

The first week you’ll air the song with a brief 10 second introduction. Just tell the listener who you are, and then say that ‘catch’ phrase for your local radio station. What phrase? Just listen to the last thing an FM DJ says right before they stop talking. That’s the phrase. They say it a lot.

Mess with them the next time you run into them in public, and as you talk with them, just use the phrase after every sentence.

“I’ll have a cheeseburger, because it rocks my day on WAAA.”
“Sure, I’ll take a pitcher of beer, because I am WAAA.”
“Crap, I have to put quarters in the meter, because the WAAA rocks.”

You get the idea, because the TLP is scenes behind scenes.

The second week, at the end of the song you will say who you are again, but instead of mentioning the radio station, you mention where and when your next show is that coming Saturday. You can change the old version out for the new one, because commercials update themselves weekly.

About 1 day into this stunt, everyone will hate your song, and be sick of it. By day 3 they will know it by heart, but still hate it. By day 5, you’ll notice that people keep calling the station to request your song. The same people now love it.

People think they are requesting your song, and love it even more. By the second week, people will demand your song constantly. Then they hear where to see you.

Enjoy your sold out show that Saturday and make sure you sell lots of merch, because a month after your stunt, everyone will forget who you are. You probably won’t make your $20,000 back, but you can pretend to be a signed national and everyone will believe you.

Oh, almost forgot. The band is H.I.M., and the song is Wings of a Butterfly. The song topped out on the charts at 19 in the US in 2005. Not too bad for a band that had seven albums before it without every placing on a US chart. By the way, did you even know they had a new album last year?

2 comments for this entry:
  1. joshua

    i actually like H.I.M. and never heard of that song on the radio before, actually saw the video and looked for other stuff, yes i know they put out uneasy listening volumes 1 and 2 this year. i can tell the studio version produced verses their own from before. They still do an awesome concert of produced music to say the least. I still never get tired of listening to all of darklight over and over again… but nice article..

  2. The TLP: Scenes Behind Scenes » Blog Archive » Psycho-Acoustic Connections & Popular Consciousness

    […] the most part, its people who see the simplicity of the system that think radio sucks. Leo mentioned this simplicity back in June. Radio stations play the same 13 songs day after day, 4-5 times a day. Similar […]

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